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The Ride of my Life

 

Part 1: A Summer to Remember

 

summer, 1996

 

words by Kraig Willett


1995. Man, what a year. That was the year I thought I was gonna be a big time bike racer. I graduated from WSU, packed up my stuff and set out on an adventure that began with big dreams and goals in San Diego, and would end in my facing a harsh reality at the top of a twenty mile climb in central Oregon. It was there that I finally faced reality; I never was meant to be a big time bike racer. Isn't bikin' cruel that way?


After the 1994 season I set two goals that I wanted to achieve in my cycling days: 1) become Washington District Champion and 2) get on the podium at a collegiate national championship. Deep down I knew these were both attainable with my limited natural ability, simply because I had two things going for me. I WANTED them both badly, and I was committed to achieving them. As far as I was concerned it was just a matter of time.

 

So, 1995 came around. I had done a few big time bike races, but when I did them I wasn't a full time bike racer. There was always that school thing getting in the way. But this year was going to be different, I was going to be a real bike racer. I was going to eat, sleep and live bike racing, and it was going to make a difference. The season started out at the Redlands Classic, and I didn't even last the first stage as I had comedown with an awful virus the week before. Oh well, it was a long season yet to come.


Probably the best times I had that summer were amidst a four week road trip where we hit the Vuelta de Bisbee and the Mike Nields stage race. You really learn a lot about people when you spend every day with them. Some good, some bad, but hey, that's life and you deal with it. There were so many people we met on that trip, and all of them were generous. They would take us into their homes and treat us like one of their own. Most of them were complete strangers who volunteered their houses simply because they heard there was a bike race in town. I really got to see the good side of people on that trip. I think of them every time that mid 80's full size pickup truck with mud flaps, a gun rack and a dog in the back tries to run me off the road.


Bisbee. What a trip. A couple of hundred mile stages in 90 degree heat with no support. Can you say carry six water bottles? Needless to say, I suffered. We all suffered. Except Greg, he was just starting his season to remember as he slayed all in the first road stage and won the final time trial. That was just a token of what he was capable of.


We stayed in Boulder the week before Mike Nields, trying to recover after baking in the hot sun in Bisbee. I think Maynard Hershon wrote an article about the cyclists around there once; how they were too cool to take a second out of their day to return your wave. He was right. Except that one guy who happens to ride for Motorola, Andrea Peron. He waved to us first as we pedaled out on the flats just east of the Rocky Mountains. Guess he's not a native. Amazing, he didn't think he was too cool not to wave. That pretty much sums up my opinion of Boulder. It's just to cool for me, I guess...


I was still looking for my form to come around. I saw glimpses of what I was capable of during the long flat road race in Mike Nields. A top 25, my best placing yet at a national level race. I was pretty stoked. I went home and slaved away for Greg and my bro' during the Twin Rivers Classic. I kinda like doing that kind of stuff, especially when my boys win. Next, I was off to Canada for the Tour de White Rock and BC Super Week. It was my final preparation before the District Road Race in Rosalia, forty miles from my home.

 

A defining moment during that trip came in Victoria BC, the last race during BC Super Week. It was an 800 meter crit course with a short hill in the very European-esque heart of the city. Brian Walton and Scott Fortner had been kickin' ass all week and that day was no different. I was beat, my legs were a lop 'o goo and I didn't really feel like racing, but I knew I had to make it through this race. Then I could rest up for districts. Anyway, we had to do something like 90 laps of this god forsaken course. I started at the back of the 70 rider field. I never saw the front. Dudes would blow on the hill and I would have to sprint my ass off to get around them. There's nothing like feeling like a pile of shit, and then looking at the lap board... It said 75 laps to go. I was the absolute last guy in the field every time around. There were times I was thinking to myself 'just quit'. After awhile though, I made it a goal to finish in the field. I suffered like I had never suffered before, but damn it I finished in the field. A lot of the times racing is all mental with me, if I put my mind to it, it gets done. I was the last guy across the line, but I did what I set out to do; I could go home satisfied. It was times like that that make me think of the toughest question any body could ask me. Why do you do it? Why do you race bikes?


I guess I don't have a single answer to that question. It's those two weeks of good form a year when you don't feel the pedals. It's those close friends you train and race with. It's those friendships you make that you'll have for the rest of your life. The ones that shared in your suffering and the ones that contributed to your successes. It's those last fifteen minutes of that six hour ride. The ones that make you say, hey, I just pedaled my bike for six hours... Where do you want to ride tomorrow? It's those mass quantities of food you get to eat, and yet you're still called "Scrawny White Boy". It's those long easy rides by yourself, when you get to think about stuff. It's that feeling you get when you win your first race. It's that feeling you get when a total stranger stops you and says 'alright man, that's cool'. That's what makes all the suffering and pain worthwhile. That is why I do what I do. That is why I race my bike.


Districts: Rosalia, Washington. It was a hot Sunday afternoon, with temperatures in the 90's. I had raced the day before and knew I had good legs. It didn't take long for the first breakaway to form. About 15K into the 140K race I joined what would turnout to be the decisive move. The break worked well for the first 40K but the field was still less than a minute down. What were we doing out there? We were destined to dry up and blow away in the oppressive heat. But for some reason we kept working. Next thing we knew we had a sizable three minute gap. I guess teammates are a good thing to have. It seems the field was waiting for my man Paul D. to do something. Otto had different plans you see; Paul had confidence in me. He was paying me back for all the work and sacrifices I had made for him and the team in the past. That is how great teams are separated from merely good teams. It makes me proud to be associated with those guys...


With 25K to go, I sensed the impetus leaving the break and felt it was time to go it alone. Somehow, Eric Messenger had escaped the field and had caught what was left of the breakaway. Now he had me in his sights. I was no match for the much fresher Messenger and after we dispensed with the remnants of the knackered break it was me and him rolling over the last climb with 2K to go. He beat me to the line in the end, but it didn't matter he was out of district and couldn't take home any hardware. I was the 1995 Washington State Road Champion. It felt good. I would have to remember that feeling four days later.


I had gone deep into my reserves that day, and I quickly began to wonder what the Cascade Cycling Classic would have in store for me. My legs ached. They ached for three days. They ached when I rolled to the start line of the Prologue outside Bend, Oregon. They ached on the start line of the following days McKenzie Pass road stage. They ached for the 200K in between. They ached at the top of the twenty mile ascent to the McKenzie summit. They ached when I missed the time cut by two minutes. Bike racing is cruel sometimes. In four days I went from the best feeling I had had on a bike to the worst feeling. As I got into the car for the somber ride home I realized that I just didn't have what it takes. That was a hard pill to swallow.


I think for the previous few months that thought was in the back of my mind. Every time I would line up with real bike racers (i.e., Pro's) I would do fine until they decided that they were ready to race. That was when I would immediately check out. I just couldn't seem to get even a field finish when Pro's were involved. It was races like those that planted the seed that maybe, just maybe I didn't have what it took to be a bike racer. We wound our way back down the Cascades towards Bend amongst the moon like lava formations. As I sat in the back seat, completely wasted and demoralized, I knew deep down I wasn't going to be able to ride shoulder to shoulder with my brother as a member of the "Real Bike Racer" club.

 
The rest of the summer went by quickly; I just didn't have the drive to really train any more and I had to pack up all my stuff and head back to school out in Virginia. I did, however, manage to get my first field finish with pro's during the Tour d' Toona in August. That was the last big race I did during that summer to remember. I still had one more goal to accomplish though, and I wasn't going to give up so easily.
 
Part 2: Virginia


As I rolled out into the hot, hazy, humid morning air in what was to be my hometown for the next couple of years, I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore (so to speak). Blacksburg, Virginia is in the South as far as I'm concerned. I can't do a ride without having to see the confederate flag waving in the breeze. The "redneck" ratio is a lot higher than in Pullman and the roads a lot narrower. These two factors combined with the fact that the rednecks don't really know what a bicycle is, leads to the natural result of being nearly run off the road a couple times a week. Don't get me wrong, Blacksburg is in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The home of the toughest climbs in the Tour DuPont. It's a great place to train, if you can deal with the intolerant locals who can't spare 10 seconds, or give you an extra couple of feet as they whiz by you doing fifty around a blind corner.


The first few months here were rough. Between trying to jump start my brain after nine months of relative inactivity, trying to handle a change of academic fields, not knowing anyone in town, and being 3,000 miles away from friends and family, I felt isolated. Thank goodness I was a bike racer. That's the cool thing about bikes, no matter where you go there will be people who like bikes and like to ride them. There is an immediate bond between bike racers. It was that bond that would keep me going here in Blacksburg.

 
 

I can remember the first time I met my new faithful training partner, Marty. I said I was from Pullman, Washington. He said he'd been there, he'd eaten lunch at Cougar Country (a local burger joint with world renowned fry sauce). I couldn't believe it, someone around here new Pullman existed. It was Marty who helped me get off my ass and go for a ride on those freezing January and February mornings. It was Marty who made me stretch that five hour ride into a six hour ride. It was Marty who would help lay the foundation for my 1996 season.


The collegiate racing scene is pretty cool. It's a completely different environment than your typical USCF race weekend. First, you get to race as a team. There is nothing I like more than playing an integral role in the success of a teammate. Second, there are no egos involved. Everyone out here has one goal in mind: have fun (well, except that one guy from NC State who thought the goal was to win at all costs and crash anybody that got in his way). My collegiate season was relatively uneventful. Virginia Tech had a well rounded men's team which meant there was never any pressure on anyone to perform. Thank goodness, since I had trouble finding my form all year. I can remember suffering and being dropped in the TTT's, or having difficulty in thirty rider fields comprised mainly of 3's. There was no doubt about it, the guys out here could race their bikes (either that or I was just still fat and shitty from the winter: probably a little bit of both).


The collegiate season was also a boost for my moral, as I met this cool woman at the first race of the year. It was one of those friend of a friend type deals. It just so happened that I was in a particularly spastic mood that weekend (imagine that!!) and apparently she thought I was pretty funny. Once again, I had the desire to race and travel, because it meant that I got to see Jen that weekend.

 
The only glimmer of hope of my form to come was the final collegiate race of the season. The conference championships were held in Blacksburg since Tech had won the conference the previous season. Our road course was perceived as brutal by the competition and too long. It's a 7 mile circuit with three major climbs per lap (a total elevation gain of about 600' per lap). We did 9 laps. With two and a half to go, a former Pro biker (Navigators) was complaining of the distance. I figured that meant it was time to start racing for real. I floored it up the big climb and with two to go there was just four of us left. 3 Techs and one UVA (University of Virginia, our biggest rival in the conference). The numbers were good, but not good enough as R. (that's what he likes to be called), who had been dominating all season, whooped us all up the last climb for the win. I could only manage second, but I knew I was starting to ride better. The conference Crit was further proof that my legs were getting better, as R. and I lapped the field (the first time I had ever done anything like that) and I took second again. With six weeks to go until nationals I knew it was possible to achieve my last goal, a podium spot.


So, with a six week training program set up by my bro' in hand I set out to get the job done. It was difficult to follow the plan exactly (it's hard to get that five hour ride in during finals), but that's life, huh. I couldn't do all the volume, but I got all the other stuff done. With nothing but crits and short flat road races to prepare me for the 93 mile death march that was the Nationals road course, I was unsure about my form. In fact, the Monday before the big race I lined up for a crit in Roanoke and promptly got shelled 10 minutes into it. Of course it doesn't help when there's only 30 guys total and 25 of them are pro's; i.e., there's no place to hide. Needless to say, I was worried about the upcoming weekend.
 
Part 3: Nationals


The fighting gobblers (yes, that's our university's unofficial mascot-title) arrived at the US National Guard Barracks late Thursday night in San Luis Obispo. We grabbed our four blankets a piece and set out to find our deluxe accommodations. Our huts were simple, a door, two windows, four walls, two beds and a roof. There was no heat which would be the biggest bummer. Four blankets were not enough that first night as we all froze our asses off and didn't really get a good nights sleep. In the true army experience the bathroom had two rows of crappers. No stalls. Yep, that's right you got to growl with fifteen of your pals right beside you. Hey, at least we didn't have to dig our own latrine. One thing was for sure though, despite the less than four star quality living conditions we were still going to have fun. We were going to deal with it.


Friday we rode the carnage carnival, or the road course as the organizers had labeled it. Two miles after the start the fun would begin with a right hand turn into hell. A seven mile stairstepper climb would greet us three times the following day. The rest of the 50K course was rolling with the last climb coming 4K before the finish. I knew right then this race was going to be one of attrition and who could suffer the most. I knew it was right up my alley...


That night I got to see old friends from the NWCCC and Wazzu. They asked what the course was like. I told them, 'carnage from lap one'. In fact, one WSU rider replied 'goooood, I can't wait'. I made a mental note to ask him how good the course was at the top of the big climb on the last lap. I didn't get to ask him, he wasn't there.


Friday night we investigated what would happen if you crammed 300 people into an unventilated army meeting room and proceeded to ask stupid questions like 'if I have a mechanical can I geta tow back to the field'. Can you say, human induced sauna. The cream of the crop of stupidity/insensitivity goes to the people who had the nerve to complain/demand refunds for the living accommodations. Apparently, they were to good to rough it for two days and had no respect for the amount of effort the local community and club put into promoting the 1996 Collegiate National Championships. I mean really, c'mon we're bike racers. We've spent the night on countless floors and even been reduced to sleeping in our cars because we love to race. Hell, these barracks had beds, what more could you ask for.

 
It was also that evening that I realized Colorado was going to be super motivated this weekend. Apparently, they had been declared ineligible for the overall team title. They were going to have a chip on their shoulder all weekend.


Saturday, June 1st: On your feet soldiers! There was a long day 'o bikin' ahead of us. First the TTT, and then a few hours of rest before the RR. The TTT I wasn't looking forward to. All year I had suffered during them, and that was the last thing I wanted to do before the most important race in my life. The course was set up so that the teams had to dodge cones (the coned off lanes were less than eight feet wide). The first team off lost a rider in the first 5K as he drilled a cone and proceeded to break bones in his body. I didn't suffer this particular TTT and remained well below my threshold until the last 2K. That's when I felt my body open up and finally hit on all cylinders. That afternoon was going to be interesting.


The temperature began to soar and the mercury topped off at around 90 come race time. The first time up the big climb Colorado tried to prove a point to the 165 rider field: they were here to race. They were successful. I was about 40 guys down the line going up the climb and every time the road tilted upward and I caught a glimpse of the front all I could see was the yellow and black of Colorado ragin' on the front. They proceeded to drop more than half the field by the top of the stair stepper. Ben Jacobsen (University of Washington) attacked through some nifty 90 degree corner amidst the descent and soon he was joined by a few other guys. The early break had formed. The only other action on the first lap was the crowd forming for the Marshall Tucker Band concert in the metropolis of Pozo. I don't think I've seen so many Hogs, long hair, skanky women and missing teeth in one place before. But hey, they were thinking of us as one inebriated fan stood in the middle of the road and tried to hand up an Old Milwaukee.

 
Everything was back together at the base of the stair stepper the second time. The pace was dramatically slower up the climb this time around but still the field dwindled to 45 guys at the top. By this time Mr. Salty was rearing his ugly face. The heat was beginning to take its toll as the majority of the field began to salt over and show signs of fatigue. Meanwhile, I was just starting to feel good. A small break including Andrew Lewis of Stanford snuck away near the end of the second lap and gained a sizable minute plus advantage. But they had a long way to go to make it to the finish.


On the final ascent of the stairstepper what was left of the field completely disintegrated. Under the impetus of the many accelerations of Adam Livingston (UCSD) there were only 12 of us left at the top. The break had actually put time on the field up the climb and the gap hovered around 1:45. No one wanted to work to bring back Lewis who unbeknownst to us had dropped his two breakaway partners on the climb. I was forced into doing a lot of work since I didn't want to race for 4th. Eventually, I snuck away from that group with two other guys that wanted to work for the win. Together, Paul Read (Midwestern State), Andy Palmer (Chico State) and I formed the Washington Connection (we are all originally from Washington State). We shared the work evenly until we caught the two guys that Lewis had dropped. There were five of us now but only three of us working. I could feel my legs beginning to tighten up as the heat began to take its toll on me. I could ride a hard tempo, but could not muster any kind of acceleration; as soon as I would stand my legs would goon the verge of cramping. So, I opted to try and bluff my way in the break. I would ride hard and do more than my share of work on the flats in the hopes that the rest of the break would accept my tempo on the climbs.


On the penultimate climb we finally reeled in Lewis. He was done for the day. We were now racing for the win. My plan was working until 200 meters up the last 3K climb. That was when a Colorado rider bridged up to our group and ripped through us taking three others. I could not match the acceleration and was relegated to racing for fifth on the day. The weasel of the day award goes to the University of Arizona guy who sat on the break for the last 30K despite being berated by me to do some work. Somehow he managed to make the lead group. Justice was to be served up in the end to this guy though.


I rode in with Lewis and a rider from Southwestern Texas. With 800m to go I jumped them and somehow managed to hang on for fifth. The win went to the UC Boulder guy who bridged up late in an interesting sprint. As it turns out the weasel from Arizona thought he had the win and coasted the last 20 m only to be nipped at the line. Read and Palmer rounded out the top four.


In the end I probably could have done a lot less work and been fresher for that last climb. I could have ridden a better race tactically, but still, I had done it. I had accomplished the goal I set for myself a year and a half ago. I had gotten that podium spot. After four and a half years I guess I picked the right day to have the ride of my life.